Jessica's Place

lights out

2008-12-12T15:32:00.000-08:00

Hey to anyone still updating/checking the blog spot..

I'm three finals down, three to go. It's funny, 4 weeks ago I felt like the semester would never end, 2 weeks ago I moved to Connecticut and wished my life would end. Am I the only one who felt like it all went too fast? I can't believe I'm stuck in the middle of finals already.

I am kind of sad this semester went by so quickly... and disappointed. I have become so used to posting and reading/ waiting for everyone else to post, I'm finding myself sad that it's all over. I really enjoyed everyone in this class semester... despite random sexist comments, tough reading material, and having to rearrange desks every class!

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks and good luck. You have all been fantastic and I'll miss those of you who are lucky enough to be graduating (i.e. Terance. and for the record, I still think your t-shirt with the cat and the turd is gayer than Wham! Lovekins)

Final Project

2008-12-03T14:28:00.000-08:00

skipnotes...

2008-11-12T20:58:00.000-08:00

has anyone noticed the footnotes?

I have been reading through them and noticed that the Authors name is spelled out by the first letter of ever footnote between 27 and 42. Upon completion of his name spelling, the footnote reads "Then in fact all Troy seemed to me to sink into flames... and Carthage must be destroyed" (37). Any thoughts? Is he turning himself into an unseen character?

New and Improved SKIP IT from Tiger Toys...

2008-11-12T19:19:00.000-08:00

Jessica is frustrated. She has read through it all and pushed herself and said "Danielewski is the anti-christ". Jessica has skipped everything after the first two times of skipping nothing (Jessica doesn't like to not understand). Jessica decided to stop reading the footnotes; she found them an annoyance as she started checking them for complete understanding. Jessica has OCD. Jessica does not appreciate Danielewski's vision at the moment.

Jessica however, loves the book. She LOVES the fact that when characters are panicked or trying to get away from something there are only one or two words on a page causing her to flip pages quicker. She thought that was a brilliant move by the author. Jessica did not read any of the red print as it made her eyes hurt because she lost her glasses and found it embarrassing to ask her younger classmates to help her read it. Jessica felt old. She HATED the sections about Echo. She found them boring and skipped through all of it. She also didn't read the lists of names. Jessica liked that some of the footnotes were turned into waistnotes but only turned to novel to see what they were and she moved along and chuckled at her discovery of "waistnotes". She is still chuckling.

Jessica had a phone call while writing this blog and during the call referred to herself in the 3rd person and decided that it was time to stop.

Video

2008-11-12T17:57:00.000-08:00

"Architectural space certainly exists independently of the casual perceiver, and has centres and direction of its own." I think the house holds a different experience for each person in it; however, the one common feature the house holds for each person is its ability to create a sense of smallness and panic.

A House is not a House

2008-11-12T17:20:00.000-08:00

I think the house represents the family dynamic of the 21st century. The dissolution of a solid relationships within this century is expressed through the ever growing home. Maintenance of the outward appearance rather than the structure itself is causing a chasm between the individuals sleeping under its roof.

The expansion and maze of the home is for me, the hopelessness of individuals that cannot find a means of communication. I like Prof. Lennon's example, I think the house is a metaphor for failing relationships. Constantly banging your head against a wall until it breaks only to find another wall standing strong behind it.

But maybe the house doesn't represent something negative at all. Perhaps the house is the beginning of something new, a relationship perhaps. Long dark hallways, fear of the unknown, leaving the safety of the living room to explore something just to understand it.

OR can the house just represent the individual? The experience of life, death, love, whatever...

House

2008-11-12T13:49:00.000-08:00

I imagined the house as part of a levittown street. Perfect on the outside but horribly dysfunctional and corrupt on the inside. "Karen spent every night of her fourteenth year composing that smile in front of a blue plastic handled mirror" (58). I can't imaging a has-been model living anywhere that doesn't aesthetically fit in with it's surroundings.

Character Sketch

2008-11-12T12:23:00.000-08:00

Karen:

Karen is in denial. She is consistent in trying to maintain a sense of normalcy throughout. "She challenged its irregularity by introducing normalcy: her friends presence, bookshelves, peaceful conversation" (37).

I found her general existence a falsity. I don't believe anything she has to say and her emotion is meaningless after finding out that she has been unfaithful: "Refer to footnotes 19 and 20 concerning Karen's infidelities" (83).

I hate her character. She seems like a cookie-cutter wife/mother with no regard for anything but herself and her appearance. "I don't care, stop drilling holes in my walls" (30)

visual literature

2008-11-11T21:43:00.000-08:00

i think this novel is something that should be studied over the course of a semester. I have been reading it for 5 days and literally can not get past page 46. i want to sit in a normal sized bathroom and turn on the water and sit in a normal sized tub... only to rock back and forth....

the stories are fantastically interesting, but i can help but read through everything, which then equates to a poor reading of everything which then forces me to re-read everything all over again.

my thoughts at 1am:

This book wasn't meant to be read, only seen.

argh..

2008-11-11T19:03:00.000-08:00

This book makes me feel stupid.

i have read and re-read 90 pages.

i have

through and

jumped

around and i still feel dumb. i'm not quite sure i am reading this correctly... or have i been reading incorrectly my whole life?!

i have lost track of characters and am finding myself reading the beginning over again to re-learn who everyone is.

i am falling behind in the reading and am freaked out.

I have never read anything so harrowing.

The 21st century is kicking my rear.

Can anyone offer any insight or help get through this properly?!

selling bombs

2008-11-09T19:13:00.000-08:00

Does anyone else feel like Banksy has "sold out"? Is there a connection between Banksy's selling his tags to the social elite and "Greenburg" being sold the financially elite? This leads to the question : what is the point of graffiti? Are there class boundaries for the writers? Or can Donald Trump decide to "bomb" the West Side Highway and be respected among the rest of the graffiti writers?

complicated houses...

2008-11-09T17:16:00.001-08:00

I think House of Leaves is fantastic, smart, and extremely creepy... but just a thought:

In a time when society is based around convenience and easy entertainment, to put forth a book so aesthetically complicated seems like a risk. If people today could have coffee through I.Vs to get to work faster, they would. I just can't imagine people flipping this book upside down and right side up on the F into the city. Was this a smart move by the artist? Or does it even matter?

2008-10-29T19:13:00.000-07:00

In response to Barry's last post:

I love the connection to Memento; I agree, I was equally as frustrated. I think it's the point, however. This play is forcing intellect; it can't simply be read for entertainment (like other stories). I think this is the brilliance of the writing. Like the gibbet story, this play is a puzzle.. the only difference: there are too many solutions, too many opinions, to many ways to analyze.

A couple of thoughts I wanted to bring up in class:

-I thought it interesting how Michal, childlike by nature, killed children.

-Why the murder of children? It is representational of the death of innocence?

Tonight's class was great. I love the free discussion; it is great to shoot ideas without the threat of torture.

kill the babies

2008-10-28T16:20:00.000-07:00

So I've been mulling over killing babies. Well, only the babies that are planning on killing me from their pastel colored cribs. I feel like I'm in a pool of jelly; it feels interesting, but I'm not quite sure it's normal.

Perhaps I'm a conditioned American; aren't we guilty until proven innocent? I feel like the giant pillowman killing children is underestimating humanity. Do people not have a choice when it comes to their destiny? (and yes, I know using 'destiny' is pathetic)

Anyhow, my final thought: if we were to adopt the pillowman method, America would have to rewrite it's Constitution. Because unless its it the fine print, killing babies (even evil ones) isn't exactly what Framers had in mind.

PS: Prof. Lennon, I definitely had the same Ghostbuster imagery.

playing catch-up

2008-10-27T19:14:00.000-07:00

I've been catching up on everyone's blog tonight... "Rob Boombotz" said something that stood out: military personnel drop what they are doing just to do something for our country. Does that imply that it is a completely selfless act?

Hm... Some thoughts on that:

Do soldiers not get reimbursement for joining and serving in the armed forces? Isn't it their chosen profession, fatal outcome or not? I don't mean to sound anti-military, but couldn't I also say that I stop my everyday life to put my life and health at risk when I walk into Beth Israel Medical Center? Because I come face to face with the most egregious disease processes in the tri-state area, shouldn't I be hailed as an American Hero?

What makes the military so honorable? Is it because they risk their lives for the rest of America? Interesting, I've never killed someone for the health and progress of humanity... isn't that as equally as honorable? If so, why aren't there graphic novels written about the selfless Radiographer?

rest your head on this pillow

2008-10-27T16:05:00.000-07:00

I have been completely engulfed by this play. It is has just the right amount of humor and darkness to moisten my literary palate. I agree with Professor Lennon, at some points I was so wrapped up in the individual stories told by characters I couldn't remember what I was reading.

My only complaint: It was slightly predictable. From Katurain's false admission, I could feel where the play was going. Regardless, I feel like this would be a show I would love to watch and hate to see end.

I would love to hear how everyone in class connects this work with the work we have read. Or can we connect it? Interesting....

Highway to Hell...

2008-10-27T13:09:00.000-07:00

Is this 21st Century intellect?

scene 1

2008-10-24T16:07:00.000-07:00

Scene 1: Incredibly mind-blowing!!

the back and forth banter throughout this scene forces the reader to place himself in the cell with Katurian. Smelling his faint odor caused by fear, for himself and his brother. While reading this work, I was bombarded with lines from Orwell's 1984. So enthralled by the work, I had to force myself to put the play down in order to get work done from my other classes.

Anyhow, so far... it's mind-blowing!!

2008-10-20T15:05:00.000-07:00

my midterm questions:

Does war change you? If so, how?

Why do people join the military?

What are the criteria for a "good" soldier?

How does media impact public opinion of the war?

where is my art?

2008-10-10T13:09:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about literature in the 21st century and the comments made last class. Is war really what has become the framework for literature for this century? Is today's art the reflection of the art of survival? Is the beauty of all the art we read found in the triumph of one life over another?

I'm not quite sure I like how art is transforming. I feel like we are regressing; this literature is dominated by macho, brut, male perspective. Where are the female artists? Have they all crawled under a house after swallowing handfuls of sleeping pills? Where are the Marianne Moores and Gertrude Steins of our generation? Have their voices been crushed under the weight of fallen towers?

lets agree to disagree...

2008-10-04T08:06:00.001-07:00

I've been thinking about Shooting War and reading everyone's comments about how they thought the ending was a sucker punch. Ordinarily I'd agree but I'm in the mood to disagree just to disagree and see where it gets me:

Maybe the ending was intentional, another way to glamorize inorder to strip to reality underneath. The unnecessary exaltation of Jimmy has clearly evoked unrest in the majority of the class... maybe Lappe and Goldman weren't trying to appeal to the masses but repel them intentionally. Just a thought...

ps- wink.

wink, wink, wink, wink, wink

2008-10-03T17:32:00.000-07:00

Doggone it! I was expecting mumbling, laugh out loud answers and all I got was a whole lot of winking (is that a tick?) and some serious question dodging. There the republicans go, letting me down again (wink). Palin got some serious prepping last week that's for sure (wink).

So, how about that 700 billion dollar bailout plan?! I'm curious to see how this all plays out. The market had a serious drop again today, I'm skeptical. I don't know if the "bleeding" can be stopped. It's interesting, when walking home today on Avenue C, I decided that it doesn't feel like an economic crisis nor does it doesn't look like an economic crisis (or what I had imagined one to look like). I guess I had imagined flying paper, crazy men in business suits mugging the homeless, etc. Everything seems to be running normally... it wasn't until got home and checked my 403b account, that I started sweating (wink).

post class thoughts

2008-10-01T20:13:00.000-07:00

Great class tonight; I felt everyone was really into the discussion. I really liked Lennon's visual connection with the Vietnam photos. Brilliant call. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since I left class.

I was ranting about the class to my fiancee and he is now reading and loving Shooting War. Every thirty seconds he lifts his head from the book and asks something new: "did you consider religion during class?" , "what about the saturated media?". It is quite comical. Anyway, I'm going to make some tea and read along with him...and perhaps instigate an interesting debate with him.

Tina Palin

2008-09-29T21:35:00.000-07:00

She really does peg it.

I Shot the War

2008-09-28T22:07:00.000-07:00

I finished Shooting War on my lunch break tonight. I really loved it. There are many subliminal texts and visuals. It was both a fun read and very interesting. It was different from anything else I've read. I mean, I've read comics before so it wasn't difficult adjusting to the format, but this was different, it quickly puts faces to names in a way a novel can't and was more challenging than a film. All in all, I really enjoyed it.

I look forward to bringing up a lot of thoughts next class. (i.e: crosses on soldiers helmets, logos, robotic killing machines, etc.) There is a lot of material to play with!

is YOUR child hiding a Koran?

2008-09-27T21:24:00.001-07:00

I started reading Shooting War. Really smart. Excellently disturbing. I love the news crawl, side-cramping funny. "Next: When Your Child is Hiding a Koran". It really conveys the power of media. While reading this, I swear I could see overweight, Middle America screaming from the ass-dented sofa:

"Hank... HANK!"

"WHAT JO-ANNE, I'm in the bathroom."

"Go-on and check the boy's room for that koo-RAN book they have been talkin' 'bout on the t.v, I'm worried they are praying to that ooh-llah character..."

The illustrations are great, I like the faint underlying of photographs. And boy do Lappe and Goldman really kill corporate. The chain logos are everywhere. Really smart. I'm only about a quarter of the way through and look forward to discussing it in class.

McCain vs Obama

2008-09-27T17:35:00.000-07:00

Just a quick blurb while I'm on my lunch break:

I went home on my break tonight and watched the Presidential Debate (God Bless TiVo). I love the debates because they really give you insight into candidate's character. It was almost comical! McCain didn't look at Obama once, he got frazzled on a number of occasions upon which he scoffed and rolled his eyes, and he fidgeted like an angry teenager. For such an "experienced" candidate, he looked almost as inexperienced as his VP. Kudos to Obama for his ability to hold his composure and act like a President should.

Can't wait for the VP debates!

And then it hit me...

2008-09-24T18:47:00.000-07:00

When I got home tonight, my fiancee and I ordered in Chinese, opened a bottle of wine and chatted about our day. I told him about classes, he told me about work (my fiancee is a Internist at a hospital). He told me about a patient he lost last night at work and how disturbed he was about the case because he had really gotten to know this patient. And then it hit me: We are constantly surrounded by sickness and death. I am a Radiologic Technologist at Beth Israel Medical Center. I work in the Emergency Room, in the ICUs and in the O.R. In order to survive mentally, you MUST detach yourself from your patients. It is one of the first things they teach you going into the field.

A few months ago, my younger sister met me for dinner on my break. Outside of the emergency room, I was introducing my sister to a co-worker when an ambulance pulled up. The driver jumped out and tore the doors of the bus open and to my sister's horror, pulled out the stretcher. There was an infant straddled by a medic performing CPR being rushed into the ER. To me, this was nothing special, just a patient, a chest x-ray to be done... work. My sister was horrified that I simply turned around, looked at the medics and continued the conversation as if nothing had happened. She couldn't understand how I seemed so emotionless. The coping mechanism for military personnel and medical personnel are quite similar. The dead, dying and sick must become work and nothing more.

The problem is, you can never really detach completely, at least I can't anyway. What happens is that when you least expect it, you remember things; memories that creep up on you over your General Tao and pinot, like the look in a family members eyes when they've just lost their mother, or the Winnie the Pooh print on the baby's diaper and the sound of the mother sobbing from inside the ambulance.

Discussion thoughts...

2008-09-20T11:50:00.000-07:00

I’ve resisted this blog since Prof. Lennon gave us the assignment. I’m a creature of habit, I like the good ole’ pen and paper. To my surprise, while pushing through my resistance, I’m finding easier to post.

I’ve had a really cruddy week. I’m taking too many classes, working too much and trying to balance a twisted personal life on the remaining available fingertip. (I know, insert world’s smallest violin here.) I still have a sour taste in my mouth from ingesting Jarhead but am learning to both respect it as a work of art and relate to it as a memoir.

The last class discussion was fantastic. Everyone had pretty interesting thoughts about different parts of the memoir that I hadn’t originally thought of:

The Language as a means of stripping the men of their identities and a way to sever the ties between them and ordinary civilization was interesting but when Terrence further broke down the language I was blown away: “The words are dumbed-down, feminized and demeaning (i.e: hats become ‘covers’, shoes become ‘go fasters’). Brilliant call Terrence!

I’m finding a theme within the memoir that is seemingly parallel to my life, but that’s something I’ll leave for a later blog.

Until...

Cracking Jarhead

2008-09-16T14:34:00.000-07:00

Haven't posted in a few days. Completely drowning in life. I sat down a few nights ago to start reading Swofford's Jarhead and found myself struggling to get past the first few pages. I put the book down and chalked my uninterested attitude up to stress. The following night I picked up the book with a bit more enthusiasm to no avail. I am forcing myself to read through this novel and I can't quite figure out why. Perhaps war novels aren't exactly my cup of tea. Perhaps it's the machismo characters. Whatever the reason, I hope soon I can find my flow within this book because reading this way is just torturous.

Gibson v.s Palin

2008-09-11T21:17:00.000-07:00

dear blog,

in the midst of my back pain angst, there happens to be something that makes me feel better about myself...check this out... Jeepers... is this what the republican party has come to? "change" just for changes sake? At least Obama had something worth changing: America, the republicans: the intelligence level for running candidates. Check out Palin in her interview with Charlie Gibson, tell me if I'm wrong. Palin interview. Don't get me wrong, I think she is smart enough for the job, but extraordinarily unprepared. I mean, just imagine Obama in that seat, would we still be getting the same answers over and over again? Would he be squirming in his seat unknowing what to say?
Is this the best choice for the republican party? Or is it simply solidification of a choice made purely out of strategic planning for a seat in the Oval office with no thought of the American People? You tell me.

Best,

Hopeful yet doubtful
xoxo

Blogging for Dummies

2008-09-10T08:58:00.000-07:00

So it's day three of lying in bed which in theory sounds like my dream come true, but as it turns out, is horribly boring and pretty painful. All of this bed "rest" has got me obsessing over these blog assignments. I should be somewhat computer savvy having grown up with a computer in my hands, however, these assignments have made me realize I am actually technologically inept.

Embarrassingly enough, I have read through Blogging for Dummies about 12 times and still can't figure this whole thing out. Despite my shamed ego, I had to cave and call Jaime to figure out how to insert links into my page. Through his endless laughing I managed to figure it out and am even more embarrassed, now knowing how simple it was.

Anyone who pities a poor 21st century simpleton, feel free to take me by the hand and guide me through this new world of online journals. Any takers?

it feels as if my world is crashing down around me

2008-09-08T08:25:00.000-07:00

In a whirlwind of emergency room patients, this weekend I managed to injure myself to the point of three days bed rest and never ending physical therapy sessions. "A slipped disk at L5-S1" is what they called it. It is truly a different experience becoming a patient in the hospital you work. Not nearly the experience I'd imagined.

So now that I have countless hours to literally lie in bed and do nothing, I thought I'd give the Mercy Seat another go. Upon second completion of the play, I decided that the story wasn't about 9/11 ... rather, it was about the self and the errors during human interaction that leads to great destruction. [enter images of the towers falling here].

While the story is centered around a traumatic event, the event eventually turns into a symbolic backdrop, never really taking the stage as a key player. However, this backdrop is able to convey the end of the character's relationship, the mess it will create, and the feeling as if their entire world is crashing down around them. literally.

The Mercy Seat

2008-09-05T19:35:00.000-07:00

So, I spent Friday afternoon reading Labute's The Mercy Seat on the Promenade. It was fantastically depressing while overlooking the city skyline. I found myself looking across the river toward the Trade Center every so often; I suppose this was an unconscious slap back into reality. What this did was surface a memory that had been repressed for so long, I forgot it even existed.

I can't quite grasp Abby's character. Who is she? What is she doing there? How does she feel? The power struggle between the sexes is quite apparent throughout, but coupled with the destruction of life/relationships...?? Does the blase skyline relate to the intimate relationship between Ben and Abby? Does it represent the lack of intimacy? Everything throughout is seemingly connected yet disconnected at the same time. Is that the point?